Prepare yourself for the most intense, realistic WWII tank sim to ever hit the iPhone!

Just kidding.

There’s not much to this game at all, which was surprising considering it’s $2/1,59 €. Not that I paid for it but that’s why I’m here, to make sure you don’t.

First off, my biggest complaint is not that you start off with three lives but you LITERALLY START OFF WITH THREE FUCKING LIVES.

What is this shit?

This means when you come under enemy fire from multiple tanks, and it will happen, you have to be quick with shooting two tanks at once or just maneuver the hell out of there. Why was it done like this? It’s pointless, it’s stupid, it’s frustrating. Why couldn’t they just allow us use of one tank at a time and spawn another one for us when we die?

The graphics are pretty though, it has a nice, quick sketch feel against a crumpled piece of graph paper. Pretty much how I spend my time in statistics class.

Pretty paint that brings the enemy death

Controls are a bit of a hassle, you drag your finger with the tank to move it about, which will indefinitely block your view, and flick the tank in the direction you want to shoot your little paint filled balloon tank shells. Use two fingers simultaneously to drag the camera around which is a HUGE pain in the ass. Some of the effects are nice, tanks will smoke when taking too much damage, pieces of tanks will get in the way of fire and your path when fleeing.

Both tanks smoking. Whoever gets the next shot off first lives to see another fight.

The music is a cute little tune which reminds me of Battlefield Heroes, occasionally you’ll hear the sound of a passing plane flying over head which means it’s time to race for that item!

ze grey boxes has surprizez!!!1~!1!

Well..it’s not much of a race, the enemy doesn’t use items.

I’ve only noticed a few items in the 12 rounds I survived, the typical extra life..which drops a tank next to you.. sigh

There’s the repair item, self explanatory, and the speed boost which is quite useful despite the shoddy controls.

All in all, did I have fun playing this? Yeah, for about an hour. If it was a free game I’d totally recommend you get it right now but at a price of $2/1,59 € I don’t feel there’s enough to this game for the price they’re charging. There’s better things to waste your money on.

2/5. Carry on.