Right now in the world there is an Earthquake in Haiti which just probably killed thousands of people, a secret underground society trying to take over the planet and we’re being poisoned by Fluoride and Aspartame in our every day drinking water and consumables, the problem is that isn’t much fun and while I take all of these things into account, how can you expect many people to do much about it when we’re also busy trying to own people online with triple headshots, thrashing score lines and online taunts.

Being on the receiving end isn’t much fun, much to think of it I’d rather have Lisa Riley sit on my face than be subjected to being owned on a daily basis, seriously! The frustration and anger that leaps out of me as I get taunted or as another ball hits the back of the onion bag, boils my blood like a red lobster being cooked for supper. There is something about the whole affair that fills me with glee, when your on the right side of course.

Just last weekend I started to play ranked matches on FIFA and the fun thing was that I was well above my skill level, beating people with sublime skill, eloquent passing and cheeky lobs brought a satisfying glow to my online experience, it’s made me return to online play for good. I guess some of my thanks should be paid to one of my Xbox Live friends Cattermole 79 whom has single handed got me involved in a Halo 3 clan and a 2vs2 FIFA league on YFL. Before this my online play was pretty vacant. I had enough Xbox Live friends, but they had the attachment rate of a complete unknown adding you on Facebook which kind of begs the question. Why the fuck did you add me in the first place? As a mental note, I’ll probably have a clear out and start devising a smaller close nit friends list of people that actually chat and have a social outlook on the service.

The whole situation leads me at a loss though, in some respects I feel guilty for indulging in the pleasures of beating people, being better than them at something but lets be honest it’s a videogame and unless you have the hand to eye co-ordination of The Predator your hardly going to make a career of Pwning noobs anyway. The day I ever get MLG skilled is the day I grow a vagina on my forehead. It just isn’t going to happen. It would bring a whole new meaning to a head fuck though.

Oh god, the webuyanycar.com advert has just come on again, I wish the actor would die of AIDS. Sorry, am I diverting this article? My apologies! I don’t know whether I just needed a break from the gloom of reality that is outside or that I just wanted to spend some time taking my aggression out on others but faking an adrenaline & serotonin mix by winning a match in the dying minutes does feel good.

As I progressed through my online week of fun and frolics I decided to headfast into Halo 3 ODST and then reality crashed on me again, I could not get away from reality because Illuminati symbolism is all over the game, especially around 3 hours in where you have to blow up one of your own buildings, there are Pyramid symbols all over the place. So thank you Halo 3 ODST, your subliminal New World Order message has set me back on track and put my mind on the right thinking path to see 11:11 again and spread the word of truth to the masses.

-James Joell-Ireland